August 28

I felt the world was ours for the taking, when I fell into your eyes. Never a doubt that we would make it if we tried. You promised you’d never break my heart, never leave me in the dark, said your love would be for all time. But that was back when you were mine.

The longer he looks into your eyes, the more interested he is in you. If he can’t even look in your eyes, chances are he that he just wants to conquer you. After that, he will leave you.

I really enjoy spending time with you, even if we’re just going to be sitting around and talking about nothing. There are a million things I love about you, like your nose or the way you smile, the way you look me in the eye too. And I just get the greatest feeling when I make you laugh, I feel as if my company makes you happy, and that’s what I wish for you. For you to be happy.

It doesn’t hurt me that I’m losing you, it hurts me because I know you’re not fighting to keep me.

I think the problem is that I’m stuck waiting for him to do something, to make a move, to say the perfect thing. And the problem is that I shouldn’t be that girl, the one who sits and waits for him. I should be independent. I should think clearly and consistently without having my mind jump straight back to him. Yeah, falling for someone like that is the hardest thing to do. And the stupidest thing is that the thing standing in my way is fear of losing him, the fear of rejection, the fear that I might lose a friend that means everything to me. I want to be everything to him, but I’m not. I’m not the kind of girl he needs, and I’ll never be that girl.

I’ve been here all along just waiting, waiting for you to notice, waiting for you to care. Waiting for you to say that you’ve been waiting too, and you haven’t and maybe you never will or maybe you’re afraid to. But it all hurts the same, and in the end, I’m the one that’s left broken and when I lay down to sleep, I’m still the one crying, so screw the bad timing. I’ve loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will.

You treat me like I am nothing, then expect me to be there when you come back. I have got news for you, I am never going to be here for you again.

I guess whatever happened was for the best, but you should stop giving me those looks every other day because it makes me think that you still care and I know that you don’t. If you cared, you wouldn’t have said goodbye.

There are not many people in this world with the ability to give you butterflies, and if you don’t tell those people how you feel, It’ll be like spending the rest of your life in your own personal prison.

And at this point, I’d just settle for friendship. Or maybe a single hello, one of the ten times we pass each other during the day. It’s like you don’t know me.

Life changes. You get it all lined up just the way you like it and then something beyond your control comes along and bumps you off center. How nice it would be if you could get everything just the way you want it and say “okay, now.. stay!” But nothing stays the same. You grow up, make friends, lose friends, go to college, lose track of people, meet new ones and sometimes you ask yourself why. But all I can tell you is that every single experience you go through changed you in some way. Every new person who comes into your life changes you. Every moral dilemma or emotional experience you come up against changes you. It’s your job to decide how.

Don’t fall for just any boy, fall for the right boy.

Maybe it’s the only way we can finally stand on our own.You know, to hurt each other so much that we have no choice.

You don’t choose who you fall for. You just fall and you get this person who is all wrong, but yet so right. You know that you like them so much, except sometimes they drive you insane and no one can explain.

With the way they stare at each other, you would think that they were in love. But they’re not. It’s exactly the opposite. He stares at her because he knows he has her, no matter what he says or what he does to her, he has her. And she stares at him and smiles because she’s in love, but her heart knows that he isn’t in love with her.

It’s strange, falling in love. It just happens in a gradual sort of way, in an almost unnoticeable fashion. One day, you just start looking at a person differently, through new eyes. You notice a quirk you didn’t see before. Your moos improved when he enters the room. You catch yourself smiling at little, mundane things he does that never captured your attention before. Your heart beat changes depending on how close he is to you. You ding yourself thinking about him far too much. & eventually, a cataclysm occurs & suddenly you realize all these things before you know it, you’re hopelessly in love & you don’t know what to do with yourself.

I’m just tired of finally letting people in and them leaving the second I do. I just wanna count on someone for once. Is it really too much to ask for?

I need you to tell me something, and I need you to be honest. Why did you do it? Why did you make her fall for you when you had no intentions of catching her? Was it some kind of sick joke because if it was it wasn’t funny. You can’t go around and fuck with girls hearts that way. You have no idea how much you can ruin them. All because of you she’s going to think that all guys are just like you. She’s going to second guess her feelings and she’s going to only hear lies even when it’s the honest to god truth. Because of you she’s going to build walls around her heart, but I know her, she’s amazing and one day another guy, a great guy, will come along and he’s going to have to fight for her heart, but I have complete faith that he will knock those walls down.

When people have let you down enough times, you learn to not believe a word anyone says to you.

What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you’ll stutter and you’ll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you are there – in everything I am, in everything I’ve ever done – and looking back, I know that I should have told you how much you’ve always meant to me.

I’ve tried to hate you, blame you for all of this, but no matter what I do, in the end I know that I’ve brought all this hurt upon myself.

Here’s a random idea, just out of the blue. How about you fall for me, as hard as I fell for you?

I miss that feeling when you go to sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning. It’s the feeling that everything is alright in the world. You know, that amazing feeling when you’re whole, that you’ve got everything you want, that you aren’t missing anything. Sometimes when I wake up, I get it for a moment. It lasts a few seconds, but then I remember what happened, and how nothing has been the same since.


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