August 27

I can’t explain how your eyes somehow glow brighter now that I can’t have you. And although there’s no fire, your spark is bigger than ever.

All boys are dramatically different, and that’s what makes each one more confusing. But I’ve noticed that in the end they all turn out to be the same.

I don’t understand how you can just pass me in the halls and act like you don’t see me after everything we had. Everything we went through. Whenever I see your face, I’m breaking down inside. Slowing falling apart.

I thought I was doing fine without you, until a couple days ago. I’m not really sure what even triggered it, but since then I can’t get you out of my thoughts.

And now the smile I fell in love with is grinning at my fall.

I can’t take it anymore, I can’t. I thought I was over you, I really did, and then last night came along. Even though we didn’t talk, all the feelings came along.

You might just get what you wanted.

At first I was just plain angry with you, I wanted nothing to do with you. But these past months without you in my life have got me thinking. Despite all the arguments and words said, I miss you. And it’s not just a simple I miss you, it’s an ache in my heart, making me nauseous type of miss.

Maybe you should just say something you haven’t rehearsed. You’ve neglected the urge to be real.

It’s not that I don’t believe in love, I’m a very strong believer in it actually, I’m just deathly terrified that it doesn’t believe in me.

It is no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reason. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that’s dear to you? Even when you like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It’s so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can’t say the things you want to.

School boys or street boys? Choose wisely.

And lately we’ve grown so far apart that its beginning to feel like we were never friends in the first place.

I miss all the little things; I never thought they’d mean everything to me.

It’s like I can’t feel a thing without you around.

I know I shouldn’t miss you, you’ve given me every right to hate you…and a piece of me does, but the other half can’t.

How did we get here? I used to know you so well.

I should’ve told you how I felt last night, I’m so stupid. I’m in pain because of you, and the music, and the rain is really rubbing it in right now.

You should really see me now, you will regret everything you did in a heartbeat.

There was the day I met him. There was the day he asked me out at the homecoming game. There was the day he met my dad. There was the day I met his whole family. There was that one day we fell asleep in my basement and my mom was sure I was on the path of becoming a teen mom. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. I remember the time he held me when I cried after my dog died. I remember that one summer he chased me around his backyard with the squirt gun. I remember when we went to that lake and made out on the dock for hours. I remember waking up every morning with a text from him. And then I remember the day that text didn’t come. I remember going to the next homecoming game alone. And I remember us growing apart. But I’m not bitter, because there were just too many good memories to focus on the bad.

If this is the real you, I don’t want you at all.

You could be happy and I wouldn’t know, but you weren’t happy the day I watched you go.

And I’ll never second guess what I’ve done, I’ve got too much left to say, and too much to become.

You’re single, make the best of it. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough for anyone, it means no one is good enough for you.


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