I was worn out, broken: He had taken almost everything. But he’d been all I’d had, all this time.

I didn’t know exactly what it was that I felt for you, I couldn’t put it into words. But I knew it pulled me closer to you everyday. And more than anything, I knew that it was real.

If you can’t let go, you can’t put your heart back in your chest.

And it feels like I was born to love you. And it feels like just one lifetime won’t be enough.

So here I am, trying to pretend like I can continue on just fine without you. But I can’t.

The hurt began to fade, and it was easier to just let go, at least I thought it was, but in every boy I met in the next few years I found myself looking for you.

And when I lost you, it was like I lost myself as well.

I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something, too. All I ask, please, is that you just don’t dismiss that and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. There isn’t another soul on this planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there; between you and me. You can’t deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me.

If you want me and I want you why don’t we have each other already?

Sometimes all you can do is not think, not wonder, not obsess, not imagine. Just breathe, everything works out in the end.

You became what you thought everyone wanted you to be. But that’s not who you are. And that’s who I wish you were.

Things just break sometimes. Maybe we should blame that third person we became, that personality we shared together. Maybe it’s their fault because you’re a good person and I think I’m a good person too. We just weren’t made for this.

Maybe you and I were never supposed to have happened, never supposed to have found each other. But now that we have, I can’t let go of the feeling that we could be the ones to save each other.

The secret to winning the game of love was both breathtakingly simple and excruciatingly difficult: Never love more than you are loved.

And it’s starting to feel like this was all some sick joke, to let me find what I’ve always been looking for, and then tell me that it couldn’t be mine.

You can try being broken and you can try forgetting. All I know is I am no longer broken about the things I have forgotten.

Losing sight of yourself does not come like sudden blindness. Instead, it is gradual, slowly blurring out everything you’ve known of who you are until, one day, the shadow that follows is that of a stranger.

And I’m here, and you’re there. And nothing’s been the same since you left; I haven’t been the same since you left.


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