But after a while of being alone, you start to think that’s all you’ll ever be.

I’m sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I’m sorry when you take too long to reply, I get sad. I’m sorry if I say things that might piss you off. I’m sorry if I come off as annoying. I’m sorry if you don’t want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to you. I’m sorry if I think about you too much, too often. I’m sorry if I tell you about my pointless drama when you don’t really care. I’m sorry if I come off as being clingy, but it’s just me wanting you.

I keep closing my eyes, but I can’t block you out.

I wait in that silence, my knocking heart like a hand at the door. Let me in, let me back in; please.

I’ve learned you can never expect anything from anyone, no matter who it is. The second you expect something from someone, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.

And I just wish you’d give me the chance to love you.

Trying to create something that’s not there. A spark I saw as a bomb is just a means to an end. And I was just so happy to be out of my shell again, I don’t think that I really cared for who or what. So for now I’ll just have to keep it shut. If you’re not ready, please stop acting like you are. How could I know that everything you say are lies about devotion and desire? And I know the spark inside your eyes was just the match I used to set myself on fire.

Don’t you dare tell me I am the reason we are here. I spend enough sleepless nights in this bed to know this isn’t just all in my head.

I try to stay as far from everyone as possible. I figure if they don’t want me, then I don’t want them.

But it’s you who I long for when I cannot sleep.

I’m a sucker for a good lie, the way you say you understand and how you always talk of catching me but never open up your hand.

I don’t love him, and he definitely doesn’t love me. Still, he semi-fills a gaping black hole inside me. That place wants love, maybe even needs love, but love is something I’m pretty sure doesn’t exist.

I was fine, I was alone and I was strong. Now you’re here and I’m so weird, it must be love. Now I don’t have any protection in case you go. Oh, I need a suit of armor for my soul.

I learned that strength is something you choose.

There was a time, that I swear that I cared, but I got burned, and now I walk with this fist in the air.

But in the end, the most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you’ll get through this too.


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