So young, so lovely, so vicious.

I knew he didn’t care. And that was the beauty of it all.

I must remember that I set myself up for this, I broke my own heart.

I hate how we never got our chance to see what we could’ve been. I hate how I know I’m not over you and how I pretend to be.

Every once in a while I see you look at me like you used to.

We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.

You become more aware of the silence. And it is during this moment that you realize how alone you are.

I was just looking at him and something happened. It wasn’t an explosion of emotions, or butterflies of love in my heart. It was a more of slow and subtle creeping of feelings, that finally, when there was enough of them, it leaked into my heart and I noticed him differently.

I don’t know what they are called, the spaces between seconds – but I think of you always in those intervals.

We thought we were young and that there would be time to love well sometime in the future. This is a terrible way to think. It is no way to live, to wait to love.

I guess to some extent, you get used to being alone. You get used to not expecting phone calls and having nothing to do at night. You don’t expect to turn around to open arms any longer. The small sounds of him have been replaced by silence. Your thoughts echo through your head, with no one to share them with. All in all, being alone isn’t terrible, it just hurts like hell.

In time, the volume of my feelings would be turned down in gentle increments to near quiet, and yet the record would still spin, always spin.

Things weren’t supposed to be like this.

You know, sometimes people play hard-to-get because they need to know the other person’s feelings are real.

It’s just like I’m so used to being on my own, that i don’t know how to handle someone wanting to change that. I’d rather find a reason not to get involved than to have someone who wants nothing more than to be with me.


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