And no one’s words were strong enough to fix what happened here.

I needed to know that I meant something, anything to you. But what I got was nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it’s funny the things you realize when someone walks away. At first, you feel as though it’s your fault. Feeling like nothing, so close to falling apart. And then, in time, you come to the realization that you did nothing wrong. That it’s his loss, that you are so much better without that one boy who didn’t ever care. You live and you learn, that’s how it is.

You never think the last time is the last time. You always think there will be more. You think you will have forever. But you don’t.

I wish that you needed me. I wish that, without me, you couldn’t be.

This is where I start to miss you more than I can bare. I hate this distance in between us, I don’t think it’s fear.

But I loved you, and then I lost you. I will never be the same. Caught in your eyes, lost in your name, I will never be the same.

You know what you want, you’re just afraid to admit it because you’re afraid of failing. Screw that. Screw your fear. You know what you want, which is a hell of a lot more than most other people. So don’t be afraid or ashamed. Just go on and get it.

After three years, I still talk about you way too often.

I think I’m falling but it’s too far down. You said you’d catch me before I hit the ground. But the walls are strong and I’m finding it hard to breath. When I expect you to catch me, you just turn around and leave.

Because you’re not mad. You want to be, but you just can’t. And when you talk about him, your eyes still sparkle.

And we both know you’re everything I need. And we both know what you do to me.

I don’t know if my heart can take this, but I really hope it can because every second with you makes it worth the risk.

I like the part of you that isn’t afraid to say how you feel. I like the part of you that doesn’t care what other people think about you. The part of you that keeps me coming back for more. The part of you that is completely predictable, but yet still spontaneous at the same exact moment. I want the part of you that is willing to work things out, no matter how bad things get.

Don’t say you love me, don’t even.

I really missed you tonight. I miss talking to you, knowing that you get me. And every time I talk to someone else it just reminds me of how much they don’t.

And even though my gut said “don’t trust him.” Even when my heart begged me not to let you break it again. And even still when my head told me that you couldn’t change, I ignored it. I let you back into my life, and I believed your promises, and hoped that this was the time you had finally listened. You assured me that you wouldn’t go back to her, to treating me like that, to acting like I’d never been there. Good God, I even prayed that you would finally see me like I saw you. But in the end, I guess I was the dumbass for ignoring all the signs. So here’s to hoping that I’ll be able to cut you out of my life, because it’s not fair to me. I deserve so much better than you.


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