Sometimes when I’m talking to him I try to pretend it’s you I’m talking to. Because I’d do anything to feel the way I felt with you again.But it never works.

I just stopped, captivated by the stars and how there were amazing little fields of them scattered through the sky. I’d never seen so many. So I stood out there for a while, crying and talking to what I believe to be God, of how thankful I am that He never stops holding me and of how sorry I am that I forgot about that.

There is a difference in what we long for, what we settle for, and who we are meant for.

It’s hard to be the one always waiting. I mean, there’s something to be said for the hero who charges off to battle, but when you get right down to it, there’s a whole story in who’s left behind.

But even so, every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drink, the very air I breathe, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o’clock in the morning.

But it was different with you. I didn’t have to learn how to love you, the way I did with everybody else. I just did.

If you could not understand my silence, then you’ll never understand the words I’ll say.

Sometimes I think that you’re not the person that I thought you were. Like you’re just like every other guy that’s broken my heart. And that’s really disappointing.

I realized I’ve been with so many shitty guys, that when a good one came around, I played the same game with him that I had been so used to playing. And I ended up breaking his heart, like they all broke mine.

This is the story of a girl who turned out wrong, because she only loved things that couldn’t love her back.

When I dream though, oh when I dream, I’m alive again.

You want every thing to stay the same until you’re ready for it to change. But you can’t do that. You can’t expect the whole world to stand still until you’re ready.

There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t because I thought I would be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don’t have it? What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is that death ends. This? It could go on forever.


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