Remember how we used to be?

I just keep telling myself that there will be a significant moment when I finally know what to do.

My heart is in your hands. But all I ever wanted, all I ever really needed was just for you to hear me, just for you to really know me.

With a heart so weak, maybe love was never really meant for me.

We accept the love that we think we deserve.

You hate being alone, but you’re not the only one.

But the world is black and hearts are cold, and there’s no hope; thats what we’re told.

We all have our nights though, don’t be so ashamed. I’ve had mine, you’ve had yours, we both know.

I was always so good at letting go, leaving before I was left. I could walk around, pushing the memories and regrets out of my mind, willing myself to be fine. And I was fine. But then there would be times, like in the deafening silence of the middle of the night, when I would suddenly realize how utterly alone I was. How completely un-fine I really was.

If you only knew what I went through just to get to you. I’m hanging from you and I’ll hold on if you want me to.

We all had our reasons to be there, we all had a thing or two to learn, we all needed something to cling to. So we did. We all had delusions in our head, we all had our minds made up for us, we had to believe in something. So we did.

I tried, you tried, we tried. All of the times that we had together, we should’ve known nothing lasts forever.

You’ll forget the memories soon enough. But I won’t.

And then, one day, you will feel yourself slowly becoming someone else. And there will be nothing you can do about it.

I’m not really who I thought I was, or who I thought I’d be.

We go days without having a meaningful conversation, and I use to miss you so much when that happened. But it never seemed like you missed me. And I guess because of it, I stopped missing you.

I opened my eyes and found his open, too, staring at my face. It made no sense when he looked at me that way. Like I was the prize rather than the outrageously lucky winner.

And you’ve got a lot to say, for the one that walked away.

I couldn’t understand them, and I couldn’t make them understand.

I just want to know if you meant everything you said. I don’t’ want you back, I don’t want an apology, I just want the truth. I want to know if what we had was even worth fighting for in the first place. I want to know if I cross your mind, I want to know if you realize just how much you messed up.

I think of the things I want to change, but I know they won’t. And I imagine how I want everything to be, and it just makes me sad that it’s not that way.


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