We were all dreamers at one point, but life catches up with you eventually.

It’s a little obvious darling. I’m trying to make you fall for me.

And that was the second that I decided to make a beautiful mistake. Finally.

Good. That’s great for you. I hope she likes you. I hope you never felt this way about anyone before, including me. I hope you completely forgot about me when you saw her face. I hope you think she’s the perfect one for you. Everything about her is perfect, I don’t disagree, but I think my heart does.

And we’ll be everything they ever said we wouldn’t.

Sometimes, all you can do is not think, not wonder, not obsess, not imagine; Just breathe. Everything works out in the end.

Don’t let them fool you, they don’t know what they’re doing any more than you do. They’ve just become experts at pretending.

We never really move on. All you can do is find someone else to think about. That’s the best we can do.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I’m not naive. I know what it feels like to be completely broken and I’m all too familiar with what it feels like to hurt. I know what it’s like to see something funny and not laugh. I’ve been taken advantage of and used. My feelings have been completely disregarded, but I still believe all people are good at heart, and my trust has not diminished. To be honest, I hope it never does.

You’ll never get over it, but you’ll get to the point where it doesn’t bother you so much.

I knew that I never meant a thing to you, I knew what you said to me wasn’t the truth. Maybe you just wanted someone, anyone, so you chose me and then once you had me, you left me all alone to pick up the pieces that you broke.

I hate being in this position. I’m forcing myself to let go of the one person I need in my life. You’re the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicated me. I know that I’m better off without you, but I feel empty whenever I try to let you go.

I sit and laugh with friends at what we’ve all been through, but I still catch my breath when someone mentions you.

And after a while you learn that you don’t need anyone else in order to survive. No one else is ever going to always be there.

promise you, you just gotta suck it up, accept it, and continue on.

When you walked away, I punished myself daily. I thought I had to be to blame for the reason you gave up on what we had. Truth is: I still miss you.

You never realize how much you like someone until you watch them like someone else.

I don’t need someone to make my heart feel full, I need someone who will never let me feel broken.

I know it sucks, but maybe him leaving was a good thing. Maybe God knew that you would never be able to walk away yourself, no matter how many reasons you had to. Maybe God knew that you deserved better, and you would never get anything better until you could let him go. And if a guy could ever even think of leaving you, that proves right there that he never deserved you anyway.

I realized I was holding onto something that didn’t exist anymore.

I’ve learned a lot these past few years, through my fake smiles and unseen tears, that friends sometimes are not forever and true love doesn’t always last. The good memories stay with you but the good moments go by fast. But someone will always be there, someone that honestly does care.

I guess you’re right; I’m afraid. I’m afraid to put my guard down. I’m afraid that if you know who I am, you won’t feel the same. And I’m afraid that once my barrier is defeated and I’m comfortable, that you’ll walk away.

Along the way, I’ve learned that you can’t let anyone in too far and you can’t trust endlessly. The biggest mistake you can make is to care or love someone more than yourself, because then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Boundaries are necessary so that you can protect yourself, because once you’re broken, you’ll never fully be fixed.

I guess the reason I think I’m nothing is because no one’s ever fought for me. I believe that if I was really truly worth it, that somewhere along this road, someone would’ve fought for me to stay, but instead, I always wound up walking away.

If you really knew me, you’d realize I’m not the girl I was before. I’ve been hurt, walked all over, used, and rejected. I still have hope for new relationships. But if you really knew me, you’d know I’m scared to death of falling in love again. I’m scared to death of getting hurt. I’m scared to death of getting attached and thrown to the side. Please don’t do that to me. If you really knew me, you’d know I trust you.

When you told me you cared about me, you forgot to mention she meant more.


2 Responses

  1. We were all dreamers at one point, but life catches up with you eventually.
    favorite. ❤

    • Thanks for the feedback! (:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: