When I see you again, I’ll have to pretend like I don’t want to be your everything, and that I don’t want you to be mine. I’ll have to smile and pretend like I’m fine, even though you’ll see right through that. Problem is, I don’t want you to know how much this is hurting me. I don’t want you to be concerned for me because I think I need to do this on my own this time.

If you’re going to do anything at all, just don’t tell me you’re sorry. I know you well enough to know that you aren’t. I’m not the little naïve girl I once was when I first met you.

It’s almost like you had it planned. It’s like you took my hand and said, “Hey, I’m about to screw you over big time.”

Funny how time changes, but feelings don’t.

Giving a second chance is exposing yourself to be hurt again. If he had done it once, it’s bound to happen again. Why? Because you gave him the idea that no matter how much he’ll hurt you, you’d still accept him all over again.

There are certain people who are not meant to fit in your life, no matter how much you want them to.

Sometimes I wish I was someone else. Someone who is funnier. Someone who is prettier. Someone who is more spontaneous. Someone you like.

And each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide.

We said let go but I kept on hanging on, Inside I know it’s over, you’re really gone.

The memories are what warm you up inside. But they’re also what tear you apart.

When you weren’t mine, I couldn’t’t get you. When I finally got you, I couldn’t’t keep you. When I couldn’t’t keep you, I got over you. When I got over you, you wanted me.

I’m going to get over you, not because I want to, but because I’m not a second choice. Ever.

Because I’m not the kind of girl guys fall in love with.

You asked, “So what’s going on in your life?” I thought, “Well, I love you, but you’re with her, and it breaks my heart every time I see you two together. I’m failing everything at school and I blame you for me not being happy. What else? Oh yeah, I still have a hangover from the last time something had to stop me from thinking of you.” But instead I just said, “Nothing much. And you?”

I don’t hate you because you left, I hate you because you promised you wouldn’t.

I don’t know. I mean, I want to be his friend. But then again, I don’t. You know? I mean how can you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them you’re thinking about how much more you really want?

These past few days have just been making things worse. I thought I was over you, I had proved it. But these feelings all of a sudden came back and I just can’t get you out of my mind.

And I remember it all. I remember what shirts you wore, I remember the first text you sent to me. I remember your shoes, you voice, your smell, I remember the exact day of our first kiss. I remember every feeling I felt, I remember all the hopes I had, I remember everything I gave up. I remember how my life changed, I remember the things you said, I remember the first time you said those three little words I’ll never forget. I remember your crooked smile, the way you played with my hair, the way you held me so tight I couldn’t breathe but I loved it more than anything. I remember our first kiss, I remember the way your face looked so close to mine, I remember the way my fingers fit so perfectly into yours. I remember every word you said, every look you gave, I remember how I couldn’t talk about anything but you. I remember everything about you; your perfect hair and your gorgeous face and the way you could never do anything wrong. But I also remember the last day, the last kiss, the last text. I remember all the tears I cried, I remember feeling worthless, I remember waiting by my phone for a text that never came. I remember the lack of explanation, I remember seeing you with her, I remember being shoved away like I never meant anything to you at all. I remember feeling used and broken and like nobody understood, especially not you. I remember wondering how you could know everything about me, how I could give you every single piece of me and still not be enough for you. I remember each thing that made me smile, and each thing that made me cry. I remember thinking about you, dreaming about you, wishing for you.I remember believing with all my heart that it would happen, expecting forever, and having my forever cut short. I remember imagining all these things, all these moments that were supposed to happen but didn’t. I remember drifting away from you, and drifting back to this freakish relationship we like to call a friendship. But you and me, we can never be “friends”. There’s always been something more in the way we look at each other, and you know it. So here I am, looking at you, feeling all the emotions I’ve always felt when I look at you. I know we can never have back what we had before, but maybe we can start something new. I love you. And I remember. Tell me you remember, too.


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