Maybe it’s all for the best, but I just don’t see any good in this.

All that I know is I don’t know how to be something you’ll miss.

In life, we do things. Some, we wish we had never done, and some we wish we could replay a million times, but they make us who we are, and in the end they shape and detail us. If we were to reserve them, we wouldn’t be the person we are today. So just live. Make mistakes and have wonderful memories. But never for a second forget who you are, where you’ve been, and most importantly, where you’re going.

I gave too much of myself to you. I told you my deepest secrets, and let you get to know the real me. Just so you could add your name to the list of people that leave.

Your words whirl recklessly inside my head, threatening to kill what is not already dead. And I can’t forget these things you’ve said, these things that have morphed my heart into lead. Now I see you with eyes that aren’t so clear, mesmerized by my deepest fears. And those words, those words, I can once again hear, leading the first of the very last tear.

I’ve been fighting the urge to text him and tell him that I miss him. I don’t want him to know anymore. I wonder if he even misses me at all. It’s easiest when I don’t see him, I won’t deny that. But I just want to be able to see him without it hurting. I don’t want him out of my life forever. I don’t want him to forget me.

Because, unlike you,
 i meant every word that came out of my mouth.

I’m not surprised not everything lasts, I’ve broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.

So when your done talking to her- or whatever you do, don’t call on me. I wont be here; not as your back up. Not anymore.

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad about it. It’s okay to miss him. And it’s okay to wish you did something differently. But never blame yourself for how things turned out. Never tell yourself that you can’t do better. Never tell yourself that you are at the end of your road. Fate has a time and a place for all of us and nothing you can do or say will change that. Sure, it’s okay to fall, it has to be, but it is never okay to stay down.

Sometimes the only thing left to do is wrap your arms around each other one last time and then just let go.

I did it because I wanted to, because I needed to, because I had to, but mainly because you said I couldn’t.

Kids like us should wear a warning.

I want you to make the first move because I like the feeling of being chased after, of being wanted, desired. I want you to chase after me when I run away. I want you to get jealous. I want you to hold me when I cry. I want you to always want to be with me, to think of me always. I want you to hold my hand and never let me go. I want you to be romantic, be cliché, give me flowers. I want you to tell me I’m beautiful even when I’m not. I secretly love it when you randomly pick me up and pretend to throw me into the water. Or when you tickle and tease me. Basically? I want you to love me more than I love you.

What if he was meant to be, or could have been, someone important in my life? I think that’s what scares me: the randomness of everything. That the people who could be important to you might just pass you by. Or you pass them by. How do you know? I felt that by walking away I was abandoning them, that I spent my entire life, day after day, abandoning people.

8 Responses

  1. honestly i look at your site everyyyday and i loveeee it!! 😀

    • Thank you thank you thank you! (:

  2. So when your done talking to her- or whatever you do, don’t call on me. I wont be here; not as your back up. Not anymore.

    Kids like us should wear a warning.

    favorite quotes. ❤

    • Thanks for the feedback!!

  3. you should post like teice a day!!! i love your page..

    • Haha I’m not so sure I could handle that, but thank you. (:

  4. why so shorttt? 😦

    • I was out of town for a couple of weeks so I had to cut everything a little short. Butttt I’m back now so everything should be back to normal soon. (:

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