I’m telling you, you don’t want to fall for me. You don’t even wanna be with me. I’d make a terrible girlfriend. I’m horrible at keeping in touch with people, I’d forget to call. I change my mind way too much and I love going out with friends,I can’t settle. I’ve fallen in love and had my heart broken, more than once by the same boy. I lost the pieces so don’t bother to try to put them back together,I’d never cheat on you, but I’d make you worry. You don’t want to fall for me,but I’m falling for you. And if it’s okay with you, I want to change all those things about me, just to be with you.

I have the tendency to push people away in order to test who really cares. I’ve figured out that this is a terrible habit because I rarely find anyone who actually cares enough to come after me or fight for me or something. And those who actually do care can only deal with so much of my shit.

He was not my boyfriend. On the other hand, he wasn’t just a friend either. Instead, our relationship was elastic, stretching between those two extremes depending on who else was around, how much either of us had to drink, and other varying factors. This was exactly what I wanted, as commitments had never really been my thing. And it wasn’t like it was hard, either. The only trick was never giving more than you were willing to lose.

I get attached easily, and I hold on for too long. I don’t like opening up to people. Most five year old children can express their feelings better than me. I hide behind my fake smiles. I’m probably one of the most difficult people you will ever meet, but I can be sweet. I’m a great listener. I’ll guard your secrets with my life. I will never judge you based on your mistakes, and I’ll love you as much as I can. I can be, if you let me, one of the best things in your life.

He’s cute. Not in a every girl would be dying to be with him kinda way, but sorta like he gives me butterflies just by smiling at me kinda way.

Growing up sucks. Not all kisses are magic, and most boys do not live up to your expectations. But there are those times, when everything, I mean love, romance, relationships, it all falls together perfectly. And it’s incredible. It’s those moments, no matter how depressingly few and far between, that make growing up worth it.

You say you’re looking for happiness but when it comes, you run away from it. You tell yourself you don’t deserve it. There’s not much more that I can do, now the rest is up to you. Until you love yourself, you’ll never change. You’ll keep on running until you deal with today.

I think and think and think, I’ve thought myself out of happiness a million times but never once into it.

I’ve never met anyone as cold as you.

We all have that boy; he’s the boy we try to pretend we aren’t looking for as we make our way to class. He’s the boy that we lie about and claim to not care about anymore. He’s the boy that gives you the cliche butterflies, complete with the weakness in the knees. He’s the boy we know we’ll never have.

You keep telling me to be glad for what we had while we had it. That the brightest flame burns quickest. Which means you saw us as a candle. And I saw us as the sun.

We keep on sticking to who we like, that’s why we never noticed those who like us. Sometimes we’re dying for someone who doesn’t even care, while somebody’s already dead trying to please us.

I keep going back to the one thing I need to get away from.

It’s when I’m standing six feet away from you and not being able to find the words to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you that I want to just scream to the whole room that I’m still in love with you. It’s when I’m sitting alone with the phone in my hand dialing your number and hanging up that I would trade a thousand tomorrows for just one yesterday. Then I could just call you and tell you goodnight. It’s when I am really sad about something and need someone to talk to someone that I realize you’re the only one who really knew me at all. It’s when I cry myself to sleep at night and it hits me how much I would give to hold you that very moment. It’s when I think about you that I realize no one else in the world is meant for me.

I hate how I can’t imagine anything with anyone else because I imagined it all with you.

There are no comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: