It’s not hard to find the truth. What is hard is to not run away from it.

I’m a selfish person. I do nothing, but I expect everything from you. I want you to stay by my side, but I treat you horribly whenever you do. I blame you for not being there, and yet, I don’t acknowledge you for all the times you are there – and that is most of the time, I admit. And, then I go about thinking it’s all your fault when really, I’m the one to blame for being the selfish, terrible person that I am.

The worst feeling is loneliness. The feeling you keep to yourself because you are too afraid to jeopardize the joy felt by those around you. When you want to say so many things, but there is just never a time or place to say them. When the tears flow constantly, when you dream about packing your bags and leaving, knowing that nobody will be there searching for your sad, sorrowful face. Loneliness – the worst feeling in the world.

I’ve learned that when it hurts too much inside your heart, it always has a way of showing, no matter how many masks you wear.

I would wake up in the middle of the night and for a split second, I would be so happy, happy knowing that I would see your face first thing the next morning. But then reality would hit me like a freight train, and the cold truth would slowly seep into me again.

Someday someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you’ve never seen, they’ll look at you like you’re everything they’ve been looking for their entire lives. Wait for it.

We’re all in the game, just different levels; dealing with the same hell, just a different devil.

You know how every now and then, you have a moment where your whole life stretches out ahead of you like a forked road, and even as you choose one gritty path you’ve got your eyes on the other the whole time, certain that you’re making a mistake?

I knew it was coming, I just didn’t know it would hit so hard when it got here.

I wish I loved myself the way I once loved you.

Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.

Perhaps this is what we need. A dream, a hope for the future, something to aspire to, and perhaps we need to keep replacing this dream with something a little bigger because when we manage to fulfill the dream, we usually find that it’s not what we wanted in the first place. Or if it is, it doesn’t feel the way we always thought it should. Sometimes, if you’re very mixed up, very stupid, or very thoughtless, you screw up the dream just as you get it. You tell yourself you don’t deserve it, and you have to start all over again.

He didn’t break my heart. He just made me look at relationships differently.

So now I know how you feel. And I kind of know how I feel. I don’t want to start things if they won’t be finished, but I don’t want to turn my back on what could be the best decision I ever make. So I just sit here, in awkward silence, trying to decide what to say, because I can never relive this moment again.

Once upon a time I wanted to know what love was. Love is there if you want it to be, you just have to see that it’s wrapped in beauty and hidden away between the seconds of your life. If you don’t stop for a minute, you might miss it.

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open; with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build up all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. You learn that you really can endure…that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.

You get a little moody sometimes but I think that’s because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up.

Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there. Because you can’t remember a time in your life when it wasn’t. But then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong, only because it’s so unfamiliar. And in that moment you realize you’re happy.

I’m the type of person your parents warned you about.

I guess that’s what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning.


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