It’s taken me a long time to accept who he is and who he will never be.


You grow up so fast in high school. It’s not something you wait for, it just kinda happens. One day you’ll look back and be proud of who you’ve become, while at the same time, miss who you were.

Damaged people are dangerous, because they know they can survive.

I believe being alone means you’re free. That old lovers miss you and new lovers want you and the one you’re with is the one you’re meant to be with. That everything you want to happen, will happen. If you decide you want it enough. That every time you think a sad thought, you can think a happy one instead.

I was never easy to flirt with; I always had my guard up, not wanting to get hurt. Guys had to make so much effort to get me to like them. But you, you didn’t even have to try. My guard came down the second your eyes met mine.

There’s something there alright, but you left first because you’re afraid to have a connection with him, to become attached, to have your heart broken all over again. You’ve gotten so close to him but you back off and leave him wondering how and why you did it. You thought it wasn’t worth it, when at the back of your mind, you’re also wondering what could have been if you stayed.

Sometimes you have to put your hopes in a safe place and come back to them another day.

There are things we easily forget. People we think are easily replaceable. Relationships we throw away because we think it’s not worth our time and effort. And then there are those that we cant let go at all, no matter how bad the memories were. We hang on to them because when all is said and done, when people finally left and relationships weaken, memories are all we would ever have.

It’s bad that I took a second look. I guess I’m an open book. I didn’t really intend to embrace you that long, but then again, I wasn’t the only one holding on.

Someday we’ll know why I wasn’t meant for you.

You all want to lose yourself in another person. You believe that love is transcendent and eternal. I want to believe that too.

I would leave first, always leave first. I felt like being the first to let go meant that I was stronger, I had won. But now, looking back, it’s clear to see that really I had never won. In fact, it seems that I had lost more than I had ever gained.

Sometimes we play with love. But when the time comes and we realize we want to get serious, love plays with us.

You will always be my biggest ‘what if’.

Almost everyone you know, without exception, has their heart all wrapped around someone who will never love them back.

Looking back, I remember every moment where he made me feel on top of the world. I was the world, not only that, I was the sun, the moon, the sky, and all the stars in it. In those moments, I was infinite, I was everything, I was his.

You meant so much to me before that I sometimes feel like I must be lying to myself to actually think that you mean nothing to me now.

Fuck you for being exactly what I knew you would become.

Dreams are always crushing when they don’t come true. But, it’s simple dreams that are often the most painful because they seem so personal, so reasonable, so attainable. You’re always close enough to touch, but never close enough to hold and it’s enough to break your heart.

I knew your face so well, the curves of your cheeks, the outline of your lips. I saw that face over and over again, every dream brought it that much closer. But here,now, it just blurs into my mind. And I’d give anything to be able to remember that face.

Maybe they were right. Maybe you’re just another pretty face.

There are no comments on this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: