i know i’m not perfect

“they say if you dream about something more than once, its sure to come true.”

~alice in wonderland

I can feel us growing farther and farther apart

…and I’m absolutely terrified.

i don’t remember what made us stop talking,
i don’t even remember when the last time we did
but i just want to let you know that
i miss the best friend in you
and i hope that you miss me too.

do you ever stop & think that maybe you should have said something?

maybe that one moment could have turned everything around,

and maybe, just maybe, he’d be yours?

You can try and hold me back.

Build your damn walls,

pack sandbags along the edges

and yell at the clouds and the rain and the sky to stop.

But I will not relent.

I will reach you.

Because I am the sea.

And I will continue to love you no matter what

What’s the point of reminiscing when it really isn’t there, things happen and people change, & perfect comes undone. I know it’s easier said than done but now more than ever let’s do some moving on. So please baby, take a deep breath, shut your eyes, & close your mind, it can only get better, your wounds are slowly healing, you’re better now.. you’re better than ever, you’re stronger. I find flaws attractive. I find scars attractive. So don’t worry about how you’re seen now, especially by him. Fuck him. Seriously, fuck all the shit he’s put you through. Loving him? hard to regret. Loosing him? hard to accept. You don’t need to regret it, remember all the lessons you’ve learned from it, what you’re going to carry with you forever, in the back of your head, not as a barrier but more of a warning sign. In case he’s just like “what’s-his-name”, a hazard to your health. He’ll probably never remember the things you’ll never forget, &that’s okay, it’s really okay because honestly, what would he get out of remembering the best thing that’s ever happened to him, right? Nothing good that’s for sure, nothing but regret .. & we wouldn’t want to see the poor guy upset..

i pretend that things are fine,
you just never leave my mind.
i don’t know whats wrong with me.
i guess i just want to believe that i mean more to you
& that you mean what you say,
& we will be together one day.
And there’s only four seasons, but even the best of us fall. She says hold me up darling, because I can’t see straight. Been drinking again and staying up late. Hope you understand that it’s just that time of year. And there’s only four seasons, but these feelings are always here.

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