You were never supposed

to mean this much to me

all we have is gone now, tell them i was happy. tell them i was fearless. tell them my heart is broken, & my scars are showing.

i’m not going to spend my life chasing people.
you want to leave? fine then, go ahead. because
i’m done with chasing and caring for people
who never had interest in me. nothing lasts and
people change. i’ve learned love is hard and
life isn’t always what you want it to be.

 

There are just certain things in life that are better off unknown. things you wish you never asked, never saw, never heard or never even felt.

 

It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I’m still afraid.
Sometimes the only thing words do is get in the way.
Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest to say,
but I don’t wanna lose you, drive you away. Don’t
wanna confuse you, I need you to stay.

 

Have you ever thought that if one thing hadn’t happened, a whole set of things never would have either?

Do you regret it?

 

What’s worse than wanting something you can’t have? It’s not knowing what you want. Wishing on all the stars in the sky for the answers to your questions, for something to believe in; someone to hold. Having absolutely no control over yourself, being caught up in a place you wish you were miles away from. Being stuck somewhere between the past and the future, nowhere near where you should be – in the present. Stuck in yesterdays and tomorrows, so far from home, far from everything you know and love. The uncertainty could just about tear you to bits.

One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you have to give up before you get it.

As soon as i accept that you’re gone, you come back.

Don’t talk to me because you’re “bored”. I’m not here to entertain you. And don’t come to me only when you need a favor. I don’t like being used. Just don’t get the fuck away cause i’m not going to be your last resort. I want someone to talk to me because they sincerely want to

Here’s to being lied to, to being walked on, used, promised something and fed bullshit. Here’s to getting your hopes up and watching them fall time after time after time. Here’s to trusting over and over again because you really wanted to believe that he’s changed. Now take this as a lesson learned. Let him go and move the fuck on with your life.

I’ll screw up. I’ll push you away if we’re getting too close. I won’t trust you until you’ve proven yourself. I get hurt easily and take a lot of things personally. But I’ll love you with everything I have, and if that isn’t enough, then I’m not enough.

She’s never been one to wait around, she moves from guy to guy, breaking their hearts. she hasn’t even felt the pain of a heartbreak. the world sees her as a girl who likes to have fun, and who doesn’t care if she has a man on her arms.. but thats what they think. deep down, shes just like any girl out there, shes still waiting for him to tell her he loves her.. deep down, shes been in love with him since day one, and the act she puts on.. is just so the world doesnt know that inside, her heart has been broken since day one.. and that he will always be the boy that has captured her heart

And lets be honest here, I got played. I got caught
up in the game and I lost. You still have your
undefeated record and I’ve got a broken heart.

I was so naive. Maybe it didn’t mean anything to you, but it meant everything to me.

I see memories of what we used to be. I see how far apart we’ve grown and how much you don’t need me in your life anymore. Every time i look at you my heart breaks…over and over again.

Sometimes i really wonder how stupid it would seem to him. how i sit here with my eyes never leaving the screen of my phone waiting for his new text. or refreshing the screen until it says he’s online. or how when i miss him i read the things he told me months and months ago. i really wonder what he would say if he knew he meant that much to me.

People think they know you. They think they know how you’re handling a situation. But the truth is, no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, when you’re lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream. They don’t know what’s going on inside your head – the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt. This isn’t their fault. They just don’t know. And so they pretend and they say you’re doing great when you’re really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you.

I know things have changed, in a way i never expected. i hope your life is everything you want it to be. and no matter when, or how long its been since weve spoken nor how late it is in the night, im always a phone call, a text, a drive away. i promise you that you will always be my best friend. and im sorry for everything ive ever done but i wouldnt trade it for the world. cause through everything that happend it was meant to, and i look of it as a test, a test to see how strong our friendship is. we can make it, i know we can. and just know that no matter what happens in our lives ill always be here for you.

Maybe instead of thinking you know everything, let go of
your ego for a while and you’d start to get to know her. And
maybe if you threw away your fears of getting hurt and
just loved her, maybe you two could make it.

I’m afraid of time…I mean, I’m afraid of not having enough time. Not enough time to understand people, how they really are, or to be understood myself. I’m afraid of the quick judgments and mistakes that everybody makes. You can’t fix them without time. I’m afraid of seeing snapshots instead of movies.

He screwed up, and you did absolutely nothing wrong. you gave him your heart and you trusted him to keep it and protect it, but he couldn’t. and honestly he’s not mature enough. he’s not smart enough. if he was smart, he would have cared for you with every fiber of his being and been with you in every spare second he could, but he didn’t

“She’s beautiful,” you say. how do you know? i think she’s ugly. beautiful is not fake. my beautiful doesn’t come in a make-up case. i don’t define gorgeous as a painted-on face. refined isn’t about the hollywood drag you smoked last night. my thoughts on ‘best friends’ don’t come from things that go right. my friendships aren’t purchased, they’re earned by trust. my sex appeal doesn’t require a condom or lust. charming isn’t credit cards or the size of my bust. my thoughtfulness isn’t bought or wrapped up in a bow. security shouldn’t come from arms you don’t know. my fun isn’t bottled; a good time isn’t drunk. my love is unaltered, despite broken hearts. so, next time you see her done up and rehearsed… she’s really not beautiful. sit back; think first.

Girls always focus on improving their looks, not their minds, i guess cause we all know boys are stupid not blind.


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